Weird & Worthy
As a sensitive child, I felt very weird. I was often told that boys are not supposed to be sensitive. I navigated the world through feelings & this often led to me being misunderstood, ridiculed, & excluded by those I wanted acceptance from the most.
I've recently discovered that a deep-seated unworthiness wound is the reason why I often self-sabotaged my work. This discovery was very confusing to me as I've always felt a strong sense of self-worth. But I've learned that self-worth & worthiness are not the same & understanding their difference was integral to healing my wound.
As a sensitive child, I felt very weird. I was often told that boys are not supposed to be sensitive. I navigated the world through feelings & this often led to me being misunderstood, ridiculed, & excluded by those I wanted acceptance from the most. To fit in, I repressed my emotions & mimicked the behaviors of those around me. This led to a life where I conformed to societal norms, unaware of my feelings of unworthiness.
Then my mom passed.
Which triggered a degradation of my ego & a series of spiritual awakenings. These awakenings brought me back to my true self, instilling confidence & peace in being authentic. However, I still felt my true self wouldn't be accepted by the larger community.
Through experiences in relationships with others over the past 3 years, I uncovered the unresolved unworthiness I still carried from childhood at the big age of 33.
I discovered that the reason why I isolated myself & self-sabotaged my work is because deep down I still felt too weird & unworthy of long-term acceptance, acknowledgement, & support of others. I took any perceived lack of interest as validation of the unworthiness I already felt deep inside.
I became very curious as to why I felt unworthy. And I found out why. The key to healing a decades old unworthiness wound was found behind a simple question.
And that question is...
going to be revealed in the first installment of my weekly newsletter that publishes this Sunday!
Even if you choose not to explore your unworthiness wound with me, healing it should still be your #1 priority because it will effect every relationship & opportunity you come into contact with.
We attract what we are. So if we're vibrating at the frequency of unworthiness, we will perpetually attract experiences that will validate that unworthiness.
I decided to go the newsletter route because I have no interest in fighting an algorithm for your attention. I am not a performer or an entertainer. I am a practitioner of healing practices & I enjoy sharing my practices, thoughts, & discoveries with my community. If you find value in what I share & would like to receive it directly & consistently, I've built a bridge for us to connect.
The theme for January's newsletters is "Worth & Worthiness". "Weird & Worthy" is a phrase that came to me while doing this healing work on myself so I made the design on the last slide to put on a tee to commemorate this victory in my life. If it resonates with you, a link to purchase a tee will be included in the first newsletter so be sure to subscribe if you don't want to miss out!
Thank you as always for being here with me. And if you, like I, have gotten into the habit of knowing yourself as "weird", do me a favor & make sure you start adding "and worthy" to the end of it 💜