C is for Change — and for Carolina, Catawba Falls, and Chicago

I won't lie—I was a bit apprehensive about coming back to my hometown in South Carolina, even knowing I wasn’t going to be here for long. Mostly because I’d gotten so used to being by myself (and having the bulk of my time and energy solely belonging to me), and I knew that wouldn’t be the case here. But it’s been like… so good for me. In so many ways.

To the extent that I honestly feel like it was a destined pit stop. Stress had led me to inadvertently let myself go in some ways while I was in Pittsburgh. I was staying up till like 1 or 2 a.m. most nights, waking up at 8 but laying in bed until around 10. I wasn’t exercising—outside of bike rides and basketball a couple times a week. I was also overeating, mostly for comfort, so it’s no surprise that I’d put on some unwanted weight too.

Inertia doesn’t just affect objects in motion—it affects our behaviors too. As humans, we typically resist change unless it’s absolutely necessary. That’s why we often need a drastic shift in our environment to inspire—or even force—a change in our habits. Had I just jumped solo straight into a new city, I probably would’ve carried those bad habits from Pittsburgh with me as I would have been comfortably sealed inside my own little bubble.

But being in Laurens has placed me in an environment that’s ideal for realignment—not because it’s comfortable, but precisely because it’s not. Comfort gives us no incentive to change. Enough discomfort, on the other hand, creates a powerful internal driving force—one strong enough to overcome even the deepest pull to stay the same.

My philosophy on fitness is simple: your body shouldn’t feel like a burden. And in my final days in Pittsburgh, mine had started to feel burdensome—mainly in how I looked. For me, it’s hard to feel like I’m showing up as my best self when my body feels sloppy. So ever since I’ve been back in South Carolina, I’ve been working out nearly every day and eating more consciously. And in just a month, my body looks better than ever—to me—because some of the weight I’d gained stuck around, but it shaped up and filled out my frame.

I finally got around to recording some video content and posting it on YouTube. I even posted on Instagram for the first time in months. I’m feeling more inspired than I have in a long time—and a big part of that is being surrounded by people I genuinely want to be my best self for. People who unknowingly hold me accountable, simply because I don’t want to be a bad example. Apparently, it’s paying off. Since I’ve been back, both my cousin and younger brother seem to have a renewed interest in basketball.

I still don’t like Laurens. I probably never will. But being here has been a welcome break from the chaos of city life. People drive slow here. They talk slow. They move slow. And even though I didn’t realize it at the time, slowing down was exactly what I needed.

Spending time with my grandma has been incredibly nourishing for my soul. At 91, she gets around better than a lot of people decades younger. She still does most things for herself—and she’s still sharp, too!

She didn’t learn to read until she was in her 60s, so she still needs a little help with reading now and then. She’d just gotten out of a short stint in the hospital when I got back, and she had something like five different prescriptions to keep track of each day. One day, I was helping her figure out which meds she needed to take that day and she said to me, "Micheal, I'm sure glad you're here. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't."

And hearing that… it really validated for me that I was exactly where I needed to be in that moment.

Don't get me wrong, I'm getting out of Laurens very soon, lol — but I'm more than sure that for the time I am here, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Touching Water

July 20th was my 35th birthday, and in true Cancerian fashion, I decided to spend it close to Cancerian's home in nature — the water. I drove up to one of my favorite hikes, Catawba Falls, just a couple hours outside of Charlotte, NC, to hang out with the trees for a while and touch the water.

Birthdays haven’t traditionally been great days for me. Honestly, I kind of don’t like them at all. And not just my birthday—yours either, lol. Maybe it’s just trauma, but I’ve always found all the pressure to make birthdays feel “special” both unnecessary and counterintuitive.

I was alone on my birthday this year, and one of the reasons I appreciated that is because I felt absolutely no pressure to make it special. I knew I wanted to hike to a waterfall, so that’s exactly what I did. Not having to factor in anyone else’s wants, needs, desires, questions, comments, or concerns was, in itself, a true gift.

I’m absolutely sure that the right company can enhance a birthday—no doubt about it. I’ve had enough beautiful moments with others to know how much better life can feel when it's shared. So I don’t mean to suggest that I always want to be alone on my birthday. Only that, if I am alone, it’s never really a problem.

Because I enjoy myself. And as long as I have me, I know I’ll almost always have a good time.
And I really did have a good time at Catawba Falls—by myself.

I wasn’t 100% sure I’d record anything, but once I got there, I did. I captured a lot of the trip and ended up making a short vlog that documents the scenery, along with a few thoughts on the importance of celebrating solitude.

If you’re interested, you can check that out below!

Direct Link: https://youtu.be/hUUdU70BFBQ

Catawba Falls Photo Dump:

I Really Like Her

I don’t know how, but Chicago seemingly appeared out of nowhere as my next destination. I never knew much about it—outside of the usual horror stories about gang violence, the brutal winters, and the fact that it’s home to some of my favorite artists. But just like with Pittsburgh, Chicago started quietly—but persistently—calling me to visit her.

So I did. And let me tell you: I ended up liking her a lot more than I expected to.

My flight was delayed, so I didn’t get to my Airbnb until around 10 p.m. I was super exhausted but my empty stomach convinced me to step out and find something to eat. I’d originally planned to take the Blue Line all the way downtown to the Riverwalk, but due to some police activity a few stops ahead, the train I was on stalled for about 30 minutes. Eventually, I hopped off and decided to explore whatever was around me instead.

I stumbled upon a little spot called The Blue Line Lounge, conveniently located right off a stop—though I can't recall which one at the moment. That’s where the first wave of nostalgia hit me.

While I waited for the server to bring me my Impossible Burger, I looked around at all these faces I’d never seen before—and would likely never see again—but somehow… I felt like I knew them.

I don’t know. It’s hard to describe. It felt like I’d been there before. Like these people weren’t strangers, even though not a single one of them could tell you my name.

That feeling of familiarity didn’t fade for the rest of the trip.

Usually, in massive cities, I feel out of place—disconnected from everything happening around me. But in Chicago, I felt connected. Usually, big cities feel like they not only could chew me up and spit me out, but want to. But here, it felt like the city wouldn’t just give me a fair shot—it might actually support me.

For the most part, the people seemed warm, kind, and like they didn’t take themselves too seriously—a far cry from the pretentiousness that often defines the other flagship cities in this country.

And on a more woo-woo level, it felt like I’d lived in Chicago in a past life. That’s the only way I can explain how instantly comfortable I felt there. It felt like I already knew it and had just reconnected—as opposed to just being introduced to each other for the first time.

Like a long-lost lover whose address you'd forgotten—but whose home you'd recognize instantly, even with your eyes closed, because it carries a feeling you could never mistake.

For the sake of not sounding even more cliché than I probably already do, I won’t say it felt like home—but Chicago did feel right in a way that no other place I’ve been to on Earth has, not even the city I was born and raised in.

I kept seeing synchronicities the entire time I was there—bunnies and 222s in particular, over and over again—as if something wanted to make sure I was really paying attention.

I did pay attention.

And I really liked what I saw.

Honestly, by the time I got back to South Carolina, my mind was already pretty much made up about Chicago. I made a post on Instagram about how good of a time I’d had, and eventually shared the same sentiment on Threads.

To my surprise, hundreds of people resonated with my experience—and more than a few said they’d felt the same way when they visited. That Chicago felt familiar to them too. That they just knew they were home the moment they arrived.

But what surprised me the most were the people in the comments who welcomed me home.

That might seem like a small gesture to you—but I’ve never felt wanted in a city before. And maybe that’s why no place I’ve lived up to this point has ever truly felt like home.

So to be embraced like that—by people who don’t know me from a can of paint—felt like the clearest sign yet.

As if, cliché or not… I had finally found home.

So, as it stands, Chicago seems like it’s going to be my next home. If it were entirely up to me, I’d say it’s a done deal. But ultimately, I’ll go wherever the Universe wants me to go.

That said—it really does feel like Chicago is that place. And honestly, I’d be thrilled if it is.

I’m so ready to establish roots somewhere… to truly dig in for the first time in my adult life. And even though my time there was short, Chicago did a lot to convince me that it might just be the place where I can finally do that.

Chicago Photo Dump:

What's Going On With Me?

I’m supposed to visit L.A. later this month, but it’s still tentative—and honestly, I doubt it’ll have the same effect on me. But hey, I guess we’ll see.

I do think it’s important to stay open to whatever comes my way… still, it feels amazing to finally have a destination in mind that I’m genuinely excited about—for once.

The YouTube thing is coming along slowly… and not exactly steadily, lol—but it will stabilize.

I’ve just got so much going on right now that it’s been tough to stay super consistent. But I’m going to stick with it. I know I’ll find my groove eventually. I’m getting more and more comfortable speaking into the camera each time I do it, and I think once that becomes second nature, consistency will get a whole lot easier too.

To be real, I plan to spend most of this month preparing for a move to Chicago. But if you know anything about me—or about plans—you know both are subject to change at any moment.

Still, despite whatever may come next, I can honestly say that right now, I feel better than I have in a really long time.

Not just content with the present—but hopeful for the future.
And excited for whatever else this year has in store.

I hope you are too.

With love,

Micheal Sinclair 💜