We Suffer More From Imagination Than From Reality

“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality” — Seneca

My life used to be filled with so many fantasies. Sexual fantasies. Financial fantasies. Power fantasies. “Success” fantasies. My favorite way to fall asleep used to be by fantasizing about my ideal life, wife, career, etc.

We typically only see fantasies as harmless things with positive outcomes. But what if I told you that anxiety is based in fantasy? What if I told you that fear exists only in fantasy?

Fear and anxiety never come from seeing what currently is — they only arise in picturing what might be.

What if I told you that constantly fantasizing about your ideal life is what makes your actual life feel so lacking?

What if I told you that lack, true lack, only exists as an idea — as a fantasy?

I spent so much more time suffering through the fantasy of what not having my mom would be like than I have actually not having her around. I spent so much more time suffering through the fantasy of what being bald would look like than I have in actually being bald. I spent so much more time suffering though the fantasy of what I thought being broke would look like than I have actually being broke.

I’ve spent countless hours suffering through the fantasies of what not having enough would look like but I’ve never spent a single second actually not having enough.

And if you’re reading this, neither have you.

Regardless of what you’ve imagined, you’ve always had enough or else you would be dead. Human beings need very little to live — only food, water, shelter, & maybe a little affection. Any other “need” you think you have outside of that is a fantasy.

My life used to be filled with so many fantasies but I’ve abandoned them all because I realized they made me forsake and distort “what is”.

And “what is” is filled to the brim with unfathomable magic but the only way to see the magic of “what is” is to stop fantasizing about “what is not”.

M.S.